


Naddan ma tathrigîn zud naddan

by procellous



Series: athrug naddan [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Assassination, Childbirth, Conspiracy, Cravings, Discussions of Miscarriage, Dwarf Culture & Customs, F/F, Gift Fic, Iambic Pentameter, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inheritance, Khuzdul, Morning Sickness, Nightmares, Nonbinary Character, Pirates, Poison, Pregnancy, Singing, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, background Dís/Víli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3519053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/procellous/pseuds/procellous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Battle of Five Armies, Kíli discovers she is pregnant—with Tauriel's child. Oh, and she's unmarried.</p><p>Shit, meet fan.</p><p>(Birthday Party Prompt fill for Katharine, the giant nerd.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zê’af – Dehar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kattybats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattybats/gifts).



> Written for this HKM prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/13429.html?thread=24456053
> 
> In the months following the Battle of Five Armies, something scandalous becomes apparent: Kili, the very young, very unmarried Princess of Erebor, is pregnant. She refuses to divulge the identity of the father, and the Company, Fili and Thorin especially, are beside themselves with overprotectiveness. Then the baby comes out with pointed ears, and shit really hits the fan.
> 
> -I don't care how you do the sexes. Maybe genderswap both of them. Maybe genderswap Tauriel and go mpreg. Maybe ignore the gender binary entirely. I've just seen this trope with this pairing a couple times, and really want to see the extra drama of Kili being the pregnant one.
> 
> -Whether Tauriel is dead or stuck in Mirkwood or whatever is up in the air. The point is that he’s not in the picture (at least before the birth) and Kili is on her own in this.
> 
> -Someone straight-up accuses the elves of prison rape. Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t help relations.

Kíli was not having a good day.  
  
Well, actually, she had been having a bad month. Ever since Tauriel—no, she wasn’t going to think about that.  
  
It had started small, as most things do. She was tired more often. She was nauseous in the mornings. Her appetite, normally insatiable and all-consuming, had dropped until she only wanted the most random things—venison stew, for instance. And then she had refused to eat anything besides casab mushrooms.  
  
She didn’t even _like_ casab mushrooms.  
  
The scent of pipe-smoke turned Kíli’s stomach, now. She couldn’t stand the smell or taste of alfâtmagn fish any more, even though it used to be her favorite. And despite her reduced (and unpredictable) appetite, she was _gaining_ weight, faster than any other member of the Company.  
  
It was ridiculous.  
  
Which is how she ended up sitting on Óin’s examination table, shirtless, while they poked at her and examined her swollen belly. They had her pee into a cup, which they inspected thoroughly.  
  
After what felt like an Age, they made a decision. “Mahdel—you’re pregnant,” they declared.  
  
“P–pregnant?” Kíli choked out. “No, I can’t be _pregnant_! You must have made a mistake, Óin, I’m not pregnant.” But even as she said it, she knew Óin was right.  
  
She was pregnant. Oh Mahal under the mountains, Thorin was going to kill her. And if she didn’t, Fíli would. And that was only if Amad didn’t get to Erebor and kill her first.  
  
“You won’t tell Thorin, right?”  
  
“If she asks if you’re pregnant, I won’t lie. But I won’t tell her. Now off with ye.”  
  
Kíli left with her heart somewhere around her toes. Pregnant? She was only seventy-seven; seventy-eight in a few weeks.  
  
She remembered something her mother had told both her and Fíli: _Naddan ma tathrigîn zud naddan_ — children should not carry children. And here she was, seventy-seven and pregnant. Oh, and unmarried. Couldn’t forget that part.  
  
Kíli couldn’t picture Thorin’s face when she told her. Would she be angry? Upset? Supportive? And what about Fíli? What would xe do?  
  
Everything seemed to be crashing down. There were too many thoughts in her head, all clamoring for attention. She was exhausted, hungry, and cramping.  
  
Which left Kíli with only one option. She went into her room, locked the door, threw herself on the bed, and sobbed.  
  
It got boring after a little while, especially when her stomach started to cramp from the effort of crying.  
  
“Oh, muhdahud,” she said, stroking her stomach. “Shalâk’ubnabun. What am I going to do with you?”  
  
What was she going to do with a half-dwarf, half-elf child? She was a month along, the bump hardly visible. If she dressed loosely, the babe could stay hidden and secret for at least a little while.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
“Kíli? Are you alright? I heard you crying—”  
  
It was Fíli. Of course it was Fíli. She didn’t have enough problems as it was. The tunic she was wearing was useless to hide her swollen abdomen, but it would have to do.  
  
“I’m fine!” she called, hoping to stall xir.  
  
“No, you’re not. I’m coming in.” Xe tried to open the door, but it was locked. Kíli hurriedly changed into a looser tunic. “Kíli, why is your door locked?”  
  
“To keep nosy blonds out?” She unlocked and opened the door, forcing a smile onto her face. “See? I’m fine.”  
  
“You’re a terrible liar, Kee. What’s going on?”  
  
“Nothing!”  
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
“Well too bad, you don’t have to.”  
  
“You’re not yourself, Kee. You haven’t acted like this since—ever, actually. You’ve never acted like this. You can trust me. What happened?”  
  
“Damn you to the Void, you arrogant—fine. You want to know what’s wrong? Get in here.” She grabbed xir by the collar and dragged xir into the room. “I’m pregnant.”  
  
“Mahdel—Wait, you’re _what_?”  
  
“Pregnant, Fíli! With child, bearing, _pregnant_.”  
  
“I heard you the first time. Who—”  
  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Oh yes it does! You’re unmarried and you aren’t courting anyone, it absolutely matters. Who do I need to kill? Was it one of the Company?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“One of the Men, then? Bard? Or whats-his-name, the slimy guy who worked for the Master? But you have better taste then that and besides, you’ve always preferred girls. I didn’t know there were any faslûna among the Men.”  
  
“Mahal, no. And there aren’t, not that I know of. Besides, I didn’t lie with any of the Men.”  
  
“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with an elf.”  
  
“I didn’t sleep with an elf, either.”  
  
“So you didn’t sleep with one of the Company, nor a Man, nor an elf. Was it one of Dáin’s soldiers?”  
  
“No. This guessing game isn't funny, Fee, I'm not going to tell you.”  
  
“I want to know. Did someone force you, Kíli?”  
  
“No!”  
  
“You’re lying to me. Not one of the Company, nor one of Dáin’s soldiers, so it wasn’t a dwarf. Not a Man nor an elf neither. The only hobbit you’ve been around for any length of time is Bilbo, and he’s one of the Company. And yet you’re pregnant. So. Which one is the lie?”  
  
“I thought I was a terrible liar.”  
  
“I’ll tell Thorin, see if I don’t!”  
  
“You wouldn’t.”  
  
“Oh yes I would.”  
  
“Well, I’m not going to tell you. Not you, not Thorin.”  
  
“Kee—”  
  
“I have that right!”  
  
“Damn it, Kíli, I’m trying to help you!”  
  
“Funny way of showing it,” she snarled. She had never been so angry at Fíli before now, but her blood was on fire with rage. How _dare_ xe come in here and tell her what to do, like she was a child! Her head was pounding, and her vision started to blur from angry tears.  
  
“Kíli?” Fíli asked, brows knitting together in worry and confusion. “Kíli, are you alright?”  
  
Absently, she realized that her hands were clenched in fists of rage. She slowly opened them, revealing bleeding crescents on her palms.  
  
“Kee?”  
  
She broke down in tears, sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
“Kíli!” Fíli sat next to Kíli, wrapping xir arms around her. “Please, Kíli, what’s wrong? You can trust me.”  
  
“I—I don’t know what to do. I’m _scared_ , Fee.”  
  
“It’s gonna be all right,” xe replied on instinct, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “You’re going to be fine. I promise. Everything’s going to be just fine.”  
  
“You can’t know that.”  
  
“Shush, you.”  
  
Kíli smiled a little.  
  
“Ha! You smiled.”  
  
“Shoo, you nosy brat.”  
  
Fíli laughed and pressed a kiss to her hair. Kíli swatted xir.  
  
“I said shoo, idiot.”  
  
“Alright, alright, I’m going.”  
  
The door clicked shut behind xir. Kíli flopped backwards, her head bouncing against the fluffy pillows.  
  
What was she going to do?


	2. Nû’af – Dush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuing adventures of Kíli being pregnant.

Kíli woke up and was immediately sick.   
  
The second month of her pregnancy was taking its toll on her, both body and mind.  
  
She had yet to tell Thorin, Amad, and Adad. For that matter, most of the Company didn’t know yet. Only Óin and Fíli (and, obviously, Kíli herself) knew. Ori and Balin probably suspected, considering how Fíli had been going through the “mostly-intact” pile looking for something that might be of use to Kíli. (Xe had presented her with a dusty manuscript one day proudly declaring it was the answer to all of her worries. It wasn’t, not even close, and Fíli spent the rest of the week nursing a black eye.)  
  
The parchment and quill sat on her desk, mocking her. She had written Dear Amad and Adad last night, but nothing more. How was she supposed to tell them?   
  
She vomited into the bucket she kept beside her bed, rubbing the barely-visible baby bump. As she wiped her mouth and began to wash her face, she thought about the day. Dáin’s men would be staying until the end of winter, at least, so another month. Amad and Adad wouldn’t lead the rest of their people to Erebor until then, as well.   
  
The only good thing was that she wasn’t expected to do any actual ruling. (Yet.) Balin and Thorin had been continuing her princess lessons, teaching her how to write contracts and read in Angerthas Khazad-dûm. Apparently some formal documents were still written in it, even though it had mostly died out after Khazad-dûm fell, and it was expected for her to be able to read it. Oh, and mustn’t forget Dwalin’s princess lessons, as well: going over the reconstruction of Erebor’s defenses and occasionally attacking her. Good for learning to block assassins, and good for giving her heart attacks. They presented her with a battle ax one day, and had instructed her to carry it with her always.   
  
_“First lesson of being a princess: always carry an ax,” they had said. “Even if you don’t listen to a word Balin or Thorin tell you—and I wouldn’t blame you, though don’t tell them I said that—always carry an ax.”_  
  
There was a knock on the door.   
  
“Princess Kíli? Are you alright?” Annavi asked. The dwarf had been a part of Dáin’s army; one of the pig-keepers, even though they were a rugmaker by trade. After the battle, they had taken a job as a servant in Erebor’s quarters.   
  
“I’m fine, Annavi. And please, stop calling me princess.”  
  
“Yes, my Lady.”  
  
“Annavi!”  
  
They laughed. “May I come in, _Kíli_?”  
  
“Now you may.”  
  
They swung the door open, and Kíli suddenly regretted wearing a thin tunic to sleep in: her rounded belly, however slight, was visible.   
  
Annavi’s eyes widened as they took her in.  
  
“Close the door,” Kíli ordered. “Swear you won’t tell anyone.”  
  
“I swear on my loyalty to the house of Durin, I won’t tell a soul. Who’s the sire? How far along are you? Oooh, mahdel mahdel mahdel!”  
  
“Thanks. Erm…they don’t have one, and I’m in the second month. Around nine weeks?”  
  
“A royal baby; I’m so excited for you! Oh, I’ll bring you some fennel tea with your breakfast. It’ll help with your nausea.”  
  
“Thanks, Annavi.”  
  
They left, and Kíli rubbed her bump self-consciously.   
  
“You are no end of trouble, little one, and you’re not even here yet.”  
  
She began to get dressed, wearing a thick tunic to hide her (still barely visible) pregnancy.   
  
There was a knock on the door.   
  
“Kíli? May I come in?”  
  
“Yes, you useless nosy blond, get in here.”  
  
Fíli entered with a tray of breakfast and a mug of tea. “Annavi had their hands full, so I offered to take this to you.”  
  
“You’re still useless, you know.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Eat up, namadith.”  
  
She cleared the plate faster than she ever had before, even when she was forty and in the midst of a growth spurt that left her taller than her sibling. Fíli laughed as xe watched her stuff her face.  
  
“Kid must be hungry, huh?”  
  
“Shut it,” she mumbled around a mouthful of food. “I’m the hungry one here.”  
  
“Clearly.”  
  
“Don’t you have a meeting with Thorin or something?”  
  
“Not until midday.” Fíli was grinning, the insufferable ass. “And I don’t have training until after that, so I have a free schedule for the next few hours.”  
  
“I hate you.”  
  
“Love you too, namadith.”   
  
She resisted the urge to hit xir.   
  
“So, are you going to tell me—”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“That’s _rude_ , Kíli, I was just going to ask you whether Thorin had any lessons for you today.”  
  
“She doesn’t. Which you know, so quit pretending you weren’t going to ask who the sire was. And I’m not going to tell you, so don’t waste your breath.”  
  
“The thought hadn’t even occurred to me. Why would I pry into my beloved little sister’s personal business, especially when she has repeatedly told me not to?”  
  
“Because you’re an incorrigible, nosy, insufferable ass?”  
  
“You wound me, namadé.”  
  
“I might,” she muttered darkly.   
  
“Amad sent us a letter, by the way. She and Adad are gathering up anyone who wants to come to Erebor and sending them over here.”  
  
“They’re not coming?”  
  
“Nope, and they want you to go back to Khagal’abbad. She, uh, Amad’s naming you her heir.”  
  
“What.”  
  
“She _is_ Uzbad Khagal’abbadu, you know.”  
  
“Yes, of course I know. What’s your point?”  
  
“She’s staying Khagal’abbad because she rules it and wants to be with her people, and wants you there so that she can name you her heir and for obvious reasons, it’s not a good time for you to be traveling.”  
  
“Wait, you didn’t tell her, did you? About—”  
  
“Nah. That’s your business. Although I do want to be there just so that I can see her reaction.”  
  
“She’s going to kill me.”  
  
“All the more reason for me to be there.”  
  
“Why, so you can laugh?”  
  
“You see? I need to be there.”  
  
“Ass.”  
  
“Also, Adad wants to know why you haven’t been writing.”  
  
“I’ll write to him and Amad today.”  
  
“You should do that right now.”  
  
“I will do no such thing.”  
  
“If you don’t do it now, we both know you won’t do it at all.”  
  
“Fine, I’ll write to them now.”  
  
Neither moved for a moment.  
  
“You do know that you actually have to get up to write a letter, right?”  
  
Kíli threw her head back and groaned. “Rukhis.”  
  
“Up, namadith. You really do need to write that letter.”  
  
“If I do, will you go _away_ and leave me in peace?”  
  
“I’ll consider it.” Fíli was entirely too smug, in Kíli’s opinion, and definitely deserved the pillow she threw at xir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My school gives me pie. I am pleased, and thus the next update will be soon-ish.


	3. Gêm’af – Igleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli talks to Thorin, and bonding happens.

Kíli was thoroughly annoyed with the world and freezing cold to boot. Why had she let Thorin talk her into going outside?  
  
Erebor was significantly colder than Khagal’abbad, which, according to Ori, was because Erebor was further inland and didn’t have the warming effect of the sea.   
  
Personally, Kíli thought the cold ocean should keep the shore areas cold as well, but Ori had the books on his side.  
  
Inside Erebor it was warm. Inside Erebor, there were thick stone walls and very few openings to let the wind in through, and thick tapestries to further seal off the wind. Outside Erebor, on the other hand, was freezing cold. Kíli had worn all the layers she had: thick furs and warm coats that looked more like blankets than anything else, and she was still cold.   
  
Mostly her face, which was buried underneath scarves so that only her eyes were showing. Frankly, she was pretty sure she looked more like a pile of knitting than a dwarf, especially considering how _giggly_ Annavi had been when they saw her.  
  
“Kíli, it’s not that cold,” Thorin said.  
  
“Yes it is. It’s very cold.”  
  
“You don’t need all those layers.”  
  
“Yes I do. It’s cold outside.”  
  
“It was snowing worse during the battle, and you weren’t complaining then.”  
  
“That was different. Besides, I was running into battle at the time.”  
  
“Oh, well, if that will help, start running.”  
  
“You know, it’s not _that_ cold. I could get used to this kind of weather.”  
  
“That’s what I thought.”  
  
They were silent for a minute as Thorin lead her around Erebor.   
  
“Amad wants me back in Khagal’abbad.”  
  
“So I heard. Do you want to go back?”  
  
“She’s naming me her heir, but I can’t imagine anyone would want to stay there, really, not when Erebor’s been reclaimed.”  
  
“Many would, actually. Rebuilding Erebor won’t happen overnight, and there won’t be stable housing for a while, at least until we can get architects to come and verify how safe the stone is. So most dwarfs wouldn’t be able to come until I can assure them they won’t be sleeping in the open. For younger dwarfs, Erebor is a dream. Their homes are in Khagal’abbad. There are a number who trust your mother over me.”  
  
“What? _Why_? You’re—”  
  
“Thorin Oakenshield?” Thorin seemed amused. “They remember that while I was leading armies into Azanulbizar with my father and grandfather, Dís was building homes for us. She was leading teams to reopen mines and begin trading with the Grey Havens during most of the fighting.”  
  
“Really? I knew she was Uzbad Khagal’abbadu, but I thought you were the one who founded it. Wouldn’t she have been too young, anyway?”  
  
“Gror founded the Iron Hills at around the same age. Besides, where did you think everyone who wasn’t fighting was?”  
  
“Wow, I feel unaccomplished. Um, wandering around in exile?”  
  
“I will be having _words_ with Balin about your history lessons.”  
  
“It’s not entirely his fault, I wasn’t really paying attention for most of them,” she offered.   
  
Thorin gave her a half-smile. “So, why do you think I brought you out here?”  
  
“To freeze to death?”  
  
“Nice try, but no. I wanted to show you something.”  
  
“The snow? I’ve seen snow before, Thorin.”  
  
Thorin’s half-smile grew. Maybe a three-quarter smile? “Something else. Come with me.”  
  
She followed, mostly out of curiosity. “More snow? Ooh, is it some ice?”  
  
“As a matter of fact, it is some ice. Take a look.”  
  
She lead Kíli over a slight ridge and spread her arms. A huge frozen lake revealed itself. Thorin pulled two pairs of ice skates out of her pack.   
  
“We’re going ice skating.”  
  
“We’re doing _what_ now?”  
  
She frowned. “I know I taught you and Fíli how.”  
  
“Well, yeah, but this is— _different_ , Thorin. I can’t.”  
  
“Why not? The ice is solid enough, I was skating earlier.”  
  
“That’s not it, Thorin, I—I’m pregnant.”  
  
“Mahdel. Who do I need to kill?”  
  
“Nobody!”  
  
“Kíli—”  
  
“I know, I know, I’m not courting anyone and I’m not married, whatever. Nobody needs to die. Kid doesn’t have a sire and I’m about three months along.”  
  
Thorin massaged her forehead. “You have awful timing, you know that?”  
  
“It wasn’t like this was planned!” Kíli said hotly.   
  
“I know.” The fond smile Thorin sometimes got when she wasn’t paying attention to being grumpy-looking was back. “But couldn’t this have waited until next year when things were more settled?”  
  
“Nope.” Kíli grinned and despite the cold, despite the Lonely Mountain rising in the distance, despite everything, Kíli felt like she was back in Khagal-abbad, purposefully irritating her aunt until she broke and started laughing.  
  
“I don’t know why I put up with you,” Thorin muttered. “Your parents are going to kill me.”  
  
“They’re probably going to kill me when they find out.”  
  
“ _When_ they find out? You mean you haven’t told them yet?”  
  
“No? Fíli made me write to them but I didn’t tell them.”  
  
Thorin rested her head in her hands. “Mahal damn it, Kíli.”  
  
“If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t told many people at all.”  
  
“Either you start telling people or they’ll find out on their own. If you’re in your third month you’ll have a hard time of hiding it. How did you manage before this?”  
  
“Loose tunics, mostly. That and I wasn’t very big.”  
  
Thorin continued thinking aloud as though she hadn’t heard Kíli speak. “A formal announcement would be best, rather than spreading rumors. Dís and Víli will be upset that we didn’t tell them first, but we’ll have to anyway. Balin will know when to announce it. Who have you told, anyway?”  
  
“You, Fíli, Óin, and Annavi.”  
  
“Who’s Annavi?”  
  
“They’re the one who’s helping the cooks until more people get here.”  
  
“There are a lot of dwarfs helping the cooks at the moment, but fine. So the servants know.”  
  
“I swore them to secrecy?”  
  
“We’ll assume the servants know. I’m not saying this Annavi broke their oath, but servants are observant. Let’s go inside, and we can start planning the announcement.”  
  
“What if we didn’t make the announcement?”  
  
“There would be a scandal and your child would be considered illegitimate and thus not part of the line of succession. I know you know this. And if the next words out of your mouth are ‘but in Khagal’abbad,’ I’m leaving you out here.”  
  
“You wouldn’t do that to your favorite nibling.”  
  
“As a matter of fact, I would leave you out here. At least for a little while.”  
  
Kíli swallowed heavily and changed the subject. Sometimes it was hard to tell when Thorin was joking. “So in Khagal’abbad I wouldn’t need to make an announcement because it’s well-established, but we’re trying to build a power base and establish Erebor as strong, so we need to follow all of the traditions. Right?”  
  
“Well, even if your history needs work, you’re learning _something_ , at least.”  
  
“Tell that to Balin,” she grumbled, but beamed. Thorin’s praise made something warm unfurl in her chest. Thorin ruffled her hair, a fond smile creeping up her face.   
  



	4. Ramêkh’af – Nu'khazâd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just decided I'm writing a side fic for this thing after this gets finished. More details on why at the end of the chapter. (Motivation for y'all to read this through to the end! Or just hit cmmd/ctrl + down arrow)

The announcement of Kíli’s pregnancy was extremely irritating. For one thing, everyone was pressuring her to name the sire, which was going to happen when someone found mithril in a mud puddle. Of course, without a sire named, that meant that Thorin would be standing in as head of the family. In Kíli’s opinion, the entire ceremony was unnecessary, but Kíli’s opinion didn’t count for much these days. Amad and Adad had been furious when they found out that Kíli had been keeping her pregnancy a secret from them, but they were always annoyed with her for something or other.   
  
The ceremony was held in the largest hall that was deemed safe. It had been a guild house before the dragon came, but now it was repurposed as a dining hall.   
  
And, occasionally, a ceremonial hall.  
  
“This itches,” Kíli complained for about the fiftieth time. “I’m serious, it feels like I’m wearing nails.”  
  
“I heard you the first time you said it. Honestly, namadith, quit complaining. You only have to wear this once.”  
  
She glared at Fíli, who was perched on a table. “Once, for _hours_. It’s itchy, it’s uncomfortable—”  
  
“And Smaug used all the other ones for kindling, so this is what we’ve got. And it's not going to be hours, really. Quit being dramatic.”  
  
She sighed. Fíli was, annoyingly, completely right. Most of the clothes in Erebor had been burnt by the dragon’s flame. Aside from the handful salvaged from the various wardrobes and closets that had not been attacked by moths, all of their clothes came from the Iron Hills, courtesy of Dáin.   
  
Unfortunately, the gown—if it could even be called that—was from a locked cabinet in the back corner of a small room. There were a few similar dresses in the wardrobe, all designed for a pregnant dwarrow in various stages of not fitting into regular clothes. They were lined with cat fur, and had probably once been soft. After years of wear and age, however, they weren’t quite so soft anymore.  
  
A dim memory resurfaced as she thought about the fur—Adad had kept a thick-furred cat around, mostly because she was a cat of infinite patience, especially with two young dwarflings. She had had a litter of kittens, all of whom were kept, and Kíli and Fíli grew up with multiple generations of sleek mousers running around the house and leaving them presents of dead or dying mice. Their fur had always been so soft and warm.  
  
Then she shifted, and the illusion crumbled as the rough, uneven fur scratched against Kíli’s bare skin.  
  
“I hate this,” she grumbled. “I hope you know that.”  
  
“You may have mentioned it.” Fíli’s grin was spreading across xir face. “Now get into the armor, it’s almost time.”  
  
Kíli glared at the armor. It had been uncovered from the treasury, and even mostly fit her. Under nearly any other circumstances, it would be fine, but the metal pressed the rough fur against her skin and left it itching.  
  
“Quit complaining, you only have to wear it once and then you get to take it off.”  
  
“Easy for you to say,” Kíli snapped, “You don’t have to wear it at all.”  
  
“True, I suppose. But do try not to scowl when you’re being presented, it might cause some rumors to spread.”  
  
Kíli rested her head in her hands. “Remind me who will be there, again?”  
  
“Dáin and his army—“  
  
“ _Other_ than everyone in Erebor, I mean.”  
  
“A delegation from Dale and another from Mirkwood. Really it’ll be a small, neighborhood celebration.”  
  
“A small celebration with only three kingdoms invited? Wow, I might feel snubbed.”  
  
There was a knock on the door, and a small band of nervous-looking servants entered.  
  
“Princess Kíli? It’s almost time for the ceremony,” one of them said.   
  
“Please, just call me Kíli,” she said, at the same time Fíli said, “Thank you, I’ll make sure she gets into her armor.”  
  
The servants bowed and fled.  
  
“Fee. Please.”  
  
“No mercy, namadith.”  
  
“Rukhis.”  
  
“Look on the bright side, you’ll get out of weapons training.”  
  
“That—that is a good point. But I don’t have to like the armor.” She strapped the ceremonial armor on, trying not to scratch where the fur rubbed against her skin.  
  
She gave Fíli one last glare. Xe slid off the table and hugged her.   
  
“All jokes aside, namadel, mihokhlibokh mahâd.”  
  
“Thanks, Fee.”  
  
“Now get out there.”  
  
“We were having a moment there, and you went and ruined it. Good job.”  
  
“I’m serious, Kee, get out there before Thorin comes in to find you.”  
  
She stepped into the hall, suddenly self-conscious. Everyone’s eyes were on her and her pregnancy, and not even Fíli’s usually comforting bulk at her back made her feel more confident. The quiver strapped to her back clinked as she walked, like there were bells tied to her. Her unbraided hair suddenly felt extraordinarily plain. The armor felt like it was slipping off.  
  
The hall seemed to grow, stretching ahead of her into infinity.  
  
Thorin stood proudly at the front of the room. Her braids were just as plain as ever, but the crown fit her like it was a part of her. In contrast, Kíli’s crown felt slightly too large, and sank a little as she walked. Hopefully nobody noticed.  
  
After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a minute, she reached her aunt and knelt at her feet. _You can do this, Kíli,_ she thought. _You can do this._  
  
“Thorin, Uzbad Azsâlul’abadu, irak’amadé, I am bearing the next generation of the Line of Durin.” _Breathe, Kíli, breathe._ “I give you my weapons—” She laid her bow, quiver, and sword at Thorin’s feet. “—And my armor.” The weapons were covered by her chain mail and plate. “I rely on the strength of my kin to protect me while I bear my child.”  
  
“Kíli, Rayad Khagal’abbadu, iraknâthaé, I swear to protect you to the best of my ability and power. Your child will be born in safety and comfort.” Thorin gave her a secret smile and raised her up from kneeling. "I swear to protect you and your child with my life. So long as I live, your child will not be alone in this world.”

The traditional words were more awkward in Westron, but with the elves and men in the audience, tradition dictated that Khuzdûl was limited to their titles.

Behind her, Fíli rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. It wouldn't be noticeable to the audience, but it was comforting, nonetheless. Really, xe was doing their job—to represent the protection she would have as she grew less able to fight. 

The three of them turned to the audience while Balin recited the traditional blessings—translated, of course—and Kíli searched for Tauriel among the elvish delegation. There was Thranduil Elvenking, and there was his son, and there were their guards. All of them were blond. Not a single strand of red hair could be found among the elves.  
  
She would deny the sinking feeling until the day she died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a lot of fun, really, I'm 700 words into chapter 6 with no sign of slowing down, so I'm going to write a side-fic featuring really pretty dresses and headcanons about dwarfs. I mean, more headcanons about dwarfs. More than the usual. 
> 
> CULTURE BUILDING FOR THE WIN.


	5. Gamêkh’af – Nikh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anxiety + hormones + strange sleep cycles = ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: ruthless parody of badfic ahead.

Kíli waited by the door for her parents to arrive. She re-read the letter they had sent, unusually terse and cold. It said they were coming only to pick her up and take her back to Khagal’abbad, before anyone else arrived.  
  
She started pacing. It was a habit she had picked up from Bilbo, somewhere along the way to Erebor.  
  
Fíli had said she was ridiculous for worrying, and xe was probably right. Still, Amad (like Thorin) had a tendency towards wordiness, and the letter had barely been two sentences. Not even Adad could shorten it that much.  
  
“You’re going to wear a hole in the stone if you keep pacing like that.”  
  
“Fíli!”  
  
“I’m serious. Quit it.”  
  
“I’m not going to wear a hole in the stone, that’s ridiculous.”  
  
“You already have, Kíli.” She looked down and discovered she was knee-deep in stone.  
  
“I haven’t been pacing that much.”  
  
“Kíli!” Amad called. “I hope you’re ready to go!”  
  
“Farewell, I guess.” They shared an awkward hug, and Kíli picked up the small pack that held everything that survived the journey to Erebor.  
  
“What do you mean, _farewell_? I’m going with you.”  
  
“What? But—Thorin—”  
  
“I belong with my sister. If Thorin or Amad can’t see that, then we can run away. Go to Gondor or something.”  
  
“Fíli, why would we go to Gondor of all places?”  
  
“It doesn’t have to be Gondor. I’d follow you anywhere. I love you, Kíli.”  
  
“Where did this come from?”  
  
“I’ve kept it a secret for our whole lives for fear of corrupting you, but I can’t hide it any longer. I’d go east to Mordor if you were by my side,” Fíli said.  
  
“Mordor’s south from here and _where did this come from_?”

Fíli continued like she hadn’t spoken. “I know Tauriel sired your kid, but that’s okay. I’ll raise them like my own. You just have to swear to never see her again and I’ll forgive you,” the blond stated.  
  
“I have nothing to apologize for!”  
  
Suddenly Fíli was kissing her. She shoved xir back, punched xir in the face, and then slapped xir.  
  
“Amralimé, don’t push me away. I know you love me.”  
  
“You’re my sibling!”  
  
Thorin appeared. “I’m marrying my burglar! Aren’t you happy?” she said. “Also, I’m pregnant.” 

“I’m so happy for you, Aunt!” Fíli exclaimed.  
  
“But Thorin, you’re not a bearer—”  
  
“Hobbit fertility is amazing, isn’t it?”  
  
“You’re finally getting married!” Dís cried. “I love the halfling already. We’re going to be best friends!”  
  
“I’m moving to the Shire, too, because gold is evil and I can’t stand the sight of it. Fíli, you’re in charge now.”  
  
“Oh no! However will I be anything like you, Aunt Thorin? You’ve left such big boots for me to fill. Kíli, you must stay with me and support me.”  
  
“I’m okay with this, my precious little children. Make sure to get the forges ready!”  
  
A sharp pain lanced through Kíli. Something wet dripped down her legs.  
  
“Kíli, you’re giving birth!”  
  
Kíli screamed as Dís helped her lie down on the cold stone floor.  
  
“Push, Kíli, push!”  
  
“Someone get Óin!”  
  
Kíli screamed and clung to Fíli’s hand like a lifeline. After what felt like a lifetime, a baby’s cry pierced the air.  
  
“Wow, Kíli, you’re pregnant with twins!”  
  
“Oh, good! We haven’t had any twins for ages!”  
  
Another baby started crying.  
  
“Here you go, Kíli, your twins.”  
  
She took the babies in her arms, and woke up.  
  
She was pregnant. Her parents weren’t coming to Erebor. She would leave for Khagal’abbad in a year. She wasn’t pregnant with twins, just the one child. Thorin wasn’t in love with Bilbo and definitely wasn’t moving to the Shire. Fíli knew where Mordor was. It had just been a dream. Just a dream.  
  
“Just a dream,” she said to the empty room. “Just a dream.”  
  
For a moment she thought it was morning, but the hourglasses said it was midnight. She hadn’t slept properly since her second month, and she nearly cried in relief. Her cycle was back to normal, at least for now, and she had slept until lamlabkân. She rose and lit candles before beginning a fire.  
  
The dim light of the fire and candles cast eldritch shadows around her bedchambers. The world seemed unreal. For a moment she wondered where Tauriel was.  
  
What would this be like if they had married? If Tauriel was living in the mountain with her, would they have woken together? Or did elves sleep through the night? When they had lain together under the stars, that night in Mirkwood, Tauriel had left before Kíli had woken. Men had a zêazlâf and nûazlâf, she had seen that in Laketown. Hobbits didn’t, though—Bilbo had been so confused when he realized.  
  
The fire ate through a log, and the noise brought her back to reality. She placed a bucket of water on it, waiting until it was just short of boiling before washing her hands and face. Then she took a bit of oil and anointed her belly. She began her prayers to Mahal, asking for guidance and blessings.  
  
_Khali_ , she thought, then wondered where that came from.  
  
Absentmindedly, she rested a hand on her oil-slick belly, and realized where _Khali_ came from. Mahal had spoken to her and named her child.  
  
“Akhminruki astû,” she said aloud. “Khali Kíliul, rayad Durinul.”  
  
She cupped her hands in the hot water and washed the oil off of her belly and dried herself. The candle said that a half-hour had passed, and she lit another few to fully illuminate her desk.  
  
She grabbed a clean piece of parchment and a quill before uncapping the ink bottle.  
  
_Dear Tauriel,_ she wrote. _I miss you terribly. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m pregnant. You sired them. I’m going to name them Khali._  
  
After she had filled the parchment, she tossed it in the fire. If anyone knew—well. The truth would come to light sooner or later, but Kíli would prefer it to be later.  
  
Finally, she returned to bed. She lay down and closed her eyes, but she hadn’t yet fallen asleep when she bolted out of bed with a scream of pain. Her legs and sheets were covered in blood.  
  
It felt like eternity for the pain to stop, but finally it did. Lying in the growing puddle was a small, shriveled baby. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched it. The skull was soft and squished under her touch like an overripe fruit.  
  
She and Fíli had had a sibling, once—Adad had been pregnant after Kíli’s birth, but a hard winter made him miscarry. Amad had forbidden Fíli or Kíli to go anywhere near the birthing chambers, but Kíli had snuck in and saw the remains of the child before it was given to the stone. Adad had been miserable and bedridden for the rest of the winter after that.  
  
Her child looked almost exactly like her sibling had, all those years ago. She broke down crying and screamed.  
  
The echoes of it rang in her ears and woke her up. She reached down, half-afraid of what she would find, and her hand met a pregnant stomach under a thin layer of cloth.  
  
She rubbed it, trying to soothe her racing heart. As if in response, a tiny foot kicked her hand.  
  
This was real, she realized. There was a tiny life growing inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently before the lightbulb became popular, people slept twice: from dusk to midnight and from one in the morning to dawn. The hour in-between was used for prayers, work, exercise, etc. 
> 
> I am a boring nerd.
> 
> Also: This thing is a monster that will have Plot soon.


	6. Gês’af – Mahd-danakh – Zêgum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to Chapter 6 part 1 of 3. (hopefully it'll only be three. hopefully.) There'll be an intermission after part two. Also: please not that updates are going to be slower during this section, as I will be focusing on an essay.

“What made you think I’d want anything to do with your bastard child?” Tauriel spat. “Laying with you was a mistake. Why did you think I left in the middle of the night?”  
  
“Thutrel, wait!”  
  
“Don’t speak that foul tongue to me, Naug. You disgust me.”  
  
She turned away and joined Legolas, riding away into Mirkwood like they had after the Battle, but this time Tauriel didn’t look back, didn’t raise a hand in farewell.  
  
Sighing, she walked back inside the mountain, only to find the gates locked. She pounded on them, but nobody answered. After an eternity, Thorin appeared on the battlements.  
  
“You are no blood of mine, malâl mibilkhagsu!” she shouted. “Expect no aid from Erebor!”  
  
Fíli appeared as well, throwing a knife at her and missing by a mere handbreadth. Xe pulled another knife out of xir coat, preparing to throw it. Kíli fled, and ran nearly off the edge of a cliff. She turned and found, instead of Fíli or Thorin, Bolg standing over her and laughing. She was back in the battle, but instead of being dressed in her armor and weapons, she was wearing a thin gown. Bolg stroked her face with his huge hand and she shuddered at his rough touch.  
  
“Poor little dwarf,” he said with mock sympathy, “Abandoned by your family and all alone in the world. Killing you would be a mercy. I think I’ll keep you for my own.”  
  
She charged at him, tears stinging her eyes, but he just picked her up in one hand and walked away. Desperately, she turned to Fíli and Thorin, but they laughed at her plight.  
  
And then she woke up, gasping for air.   
  
Kíli rubbed her back as she stood and picked up the steaming cup of tea left with her breakfast. Annavi, she decided, was getting a title.   
  
Her stomach growled, and she set the teacup down and began eating. The food was delicious, as usual, but she had a strange feeling as she ate, like something was meant to happen that didn’t.   
  
Then again, she had been having similar weird feelings for the past month. Mostly it was Khali waking up and kicking her.   
  
“Your royal highness? May I enter?” A voice called from just outside the door.  
  
“Come in, and call me Kíli, _please_.”  
  
The door creaked open, which was strange, because the door hadn’t creaked last night when she went to bed.  
  
“As you wish, Princess Kíli. I am Sunniva, and I will be your servant today. Did you enjoy your breakfast, princess?”  
  
“Yes, but where’s Annavi?”  
  
“Annavi is ill today. I took their place.”  
  
“Annavi is ill? Will they be alright?”  
  
“It is possible, but their life is in Mahal’s hands. You didn’t drink your tea, princess.”  
  
“No, I didn’t. Why?”  
  
“You should drink your tea, it will help with the pains.”  
  
“Oh, it’s fine. They’ll pass soon enough.”  
   
Sunniva crossed the room to stand directly behind Kíli.  
  
“Um, Sunniva? Is there a reason you’re standing there?”  
  
A movement out of the corner of her eye caused her to jump. Sunniva reached into an apron pocket.   
  
A  moment later, Sunniva whipped out a knife, and Kíli grabbed the ax Dwalin had left her by the nightstand. Sunniva lashed out, trying to sink the blade into her chest. Kíli blocked it with her ax, screaming for help. Sunniva pushed her down, knife posed above her neck. Kíli pushed it aside with her left arm, earning herself a long cut, her right bringing the ax around to strike Sunniva in the side of the head. She missed by a mile, and stared at her hand in confusion. The ax wobbled in her grip.   
  
A heartbeat later, the door slammed open and Fíli, Dwalin, Thorin, and a handful of guards piled in. Before Kíli could really process what was happening, the knife was skittering on the floor and Sunniva was pinned to the wall by Dwalin and their guards. Thorin stood between Sunniva and Kíli. Fíli had taken her ax and was helping her to her feet.   
  
“Are you alright?” xe asked. “We came as soon as we heard you scream.”  
  
“You’re too late!” Sunniva screamed. “The whore’s already poisoned! It will kill her and the child soon!”  
  
“Kíli, have you drank anything today?” Fíli asked.  
  
Kíli shook her head. “Sunniva brought tea, but I didn’t drink it. Her knife…I hadn’t realized—there was poison on the blade.”  
  
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know,” Fíli assured her.   
  
“The poison’s in her blood,” Sunniva cackled. “It’ll kill them both soon!”  
  
Dwalin punched Sunniva, hard.   
  
“You’ll pay for this,” they growled. “Attempted assassination of Rayad Khagal’abbad is a burning offense.”  
  
“The whore’s a traitor to the Line of Durin! I’m doing you a service! She is no dwarf; no dwarf would lie with an elf!”  
  
“Shut up.” Dwalin punched Sunniva again, this time knocking the servant out.   
  
_Servants are observant,_ Thorin had told her. Had Sunniva seen her writing the unsent letters to Tauriel? Or was that just a guess?  
  
Kíli felt faint. Khali, as if sensing their mother’s distress, began to stir. They weakly kicked out, but the faint fluttering began to fade. Something wet and sticky began to drip down her legs. She pressed her hands against her belly, hoping that she could feel her baby moving again, but there was nothing.   
  
She glanced down to her shoes, as though her dress would become transparent and let her see what was happening. Drops of blood began to rain on her bare feet. She bent over to try and get a better look, but her head suddenly became heavy and she found herself on the floor.  
  
She turned her head and vomited, her breakfast coming back up again and leaving a acrid taste in her mouth. There were streaks of blood in the bile.  
  
Around her, people were shouting, but she couldn’t make out the words. It might have been orcish for all she could tell. Someone lifted her up. She tried to struggle, but couldn’t.   
  
Was this what dying felt like? Her vision blurred and swam, and everything went dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a nice weekend, everyone!


	7. Gês’af – Mahd-danakh – Nûgum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue, Fíli.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! The intermission should be posted after this, but part three is a monster and nobody's cooperating in the intermission story. Also: the next chapter published in this work will be part three of this. Intermission will be published as a separate work. So stay tuned!
> 
> Update 25/3/15: Gamak Durnu is published.

Fíli thought xe might go mad waiting for Kíli to stir. She had collapsed, bleeding, and had been rushed to Óin. They had said that Kíli was in Mahal’s hands, and that either she would wake, or she wouldn’t. The longer she slept, Óin warned, the smaller her chance got.  
  
The blood was what worried Fíli the most. Óin assured xir that Kíli was peeing blood, not miscarrying: her body was trying to flush the poison out, hence the vomiting and peeing. The blood was just from the poison, nothing more. Still, Fíli worried. The servant who had poisoned xir sister had claimed it would kill them both soon; if Kíli suffered a miscarriage now, she would be devastated. Xe could still remember Adad, after he lost his third child—he had barely had the energy to eat or get out of bed—what would that do to Kíli?  
  
Even if she survived the poison, it might kill her nonetheless, xe realized, watching Kíli in the bed for any sign of consciousness. She was as round as a full moon, the thin sheet and blanket bulging out around her stomach, but might not be for long.  
  
“I was supposed to protect you,” xe whispered. “I was supposed to protect you. Amad and Adad told me to—they told me to watch out for you. I’m sorry, Kíli. I’m so sorry. I failed you both.”  
  
Sunniva had claimed Kíli had slept with an elf. Even if that was true, it didn’t matter.  
  
Although…Kíli had been acting strangely while in Mirkwood. Maybe things went further between her and that redheaded elf than Fíli had realized. No wonder she had been so closemouthed about the sire: an elf that had vanished after the battle, without a word said to Kíli. She couldn’t have known there was a child, unless elf magic was more potent than Fíli had guessed, but if they had lain together, didn’t that warrant more than a wave?  
  
No, the elf couldn’t be the sire. Why would Sunniva even know that, if that were the case?  
  
“Hey, Kíli, remember when you dared me to go sliding down a hill on Amad’s plate and it broke? And how I thought she was going to make me skip dinner as punishment?” Xe waited for Kíli’s inevitable, indignant _“Did not!”_  
  
Nothing happened. Kíli didn’t respond.  
  
“Did too,” xe said to the silent room. It echoed strangely, the walls arguing back and forth.  
  
Xe wasn’t sure exactly how much time passed between Kíli’s fainting and now, though the striped hour-candles said that it had been an hour since it was lit. The room was smoky from the burning incense, making xir eyes water, but Fíli didn’t dare open a window to let it out. _Anything_ might happen.  
  
The door opened, and Fíli jumped to xir feet. Sunniva had been arrested and put in the dungeons, awaiting trial, but there could be allies in the Mountain. If one of them decided to finish Kíli off…  
   
It was Thorin who entered, with a tray of food in her arms. She smiled a little when she saw Fíli, but it fell when she saw that Kíli still slept.  
  
“She hasn’t awoken yet?”  
  
“No. I’m worried she won’t, ever, or that the babe won’t survive. It could kill her, Thorin, to lose her child…”  
  
“I know, Fíli,I remember your father’s grief well. But all we can do is pray. She is a dwarf, carved from stone. Either Mahal will let her live, or not.”  
  
“Why did that monster do that? What would be the gain from Kíli’s death?”  
  
“A thousand reasons. We may never know all of them. Kíli’s death now would remove the heir to Khagal’abbad, perhaps someone wanted that. If Kíli died, Dáin would be second in line for the throne of Erebor. What we do know is that Sunniva didn’t act alone. There are others in the Mountain who may be a part of this plot.”  
  
“Others?” Fíli felt faint. There were other dwarfs in Erebor who wanted Kíli dead. Any member of Dáin’s army could be a part of this. Dáin himself could be part of this plot. Xir head spun. The candle flame sputtered, and the shadows shifted. A chill ran up Fíli’s spine. Anyone could be a part of this. Even one of the Company, as ridiculous as it seemed. Bombur was working in the kitchens, he could have poisoned her tea and then sent Sunniva to make sure the job was finished. But who was overseeing the servants other than Balin? Dwalin might be in on it too: the guards should have caught Sunniva. Was _everyone_ in on this? Nori was the Spymaster, he would have access to poison. Ori was clever, he might have discovered something about the sire that he thought might have been a risk. Dori knew tea like nobody else in the mountain, wouldn’t she have been able to find a tea that would cover up the taste? Óin, Glóin, Bifur, Bofur, and Thorin seemed to be the only members of the Company that weren’t involved.  
  
Or were they? Glóin, the _banker_ and _treasurer_ , would have been able to finance the whole thing. Óin had cared for Kíli, but who could say they worked to the best of their abilities?  
  
And Thorin…if Sunniva was telling the truth, who hated elves more than Thorin? If she somehow had reason to believe that an elf sired Kíli’s child, say, if Ori showed her the evidence he had complied, Thorin might have schemed with the Company to remove the child and their bearer. Nori and Dori found a poison, Balin found a suitable servant and Glóin payed Sunniva off, then Bombur made the tea and Dwalin made sure there were no guards around while Kíli drank poisoned tea, and then Óin could finish her off through negligence.  
  
Fíli stared at Thorin, trying to read her mind. Was she a part of this plot?  
  
And then xe realized how ridiculous this idea was. Not even Thorin hated elves enough to kill her niece. They had grown up with Dwalin and Balin, Glóin and Óin. Why would any of them want to kill Kíli? And they were all honorable dwarfs—aside from Nori—they wouldn’t use poison.  
  
“Fíli? What are you thinking?”  
  
“I was thinking about what Sunniva said, about the sire being an elf. Even if it was, why would that be cause for assassination?”  
  
“I don’t know, Fíli. Dwalin is questioning Sunniva as we speak. Maybe they’ll find out something.”  
  
Kíli’s hand twitched in Fíli’s loose grasp. Fíli squeezed her hand, trying to give her some of xir strength.  
  
“Please wake up,” xe prayed, “Please wake up, please wake up.”  
  
Xe searched Kíli’s wrist for a pulse, hoping that it would be there.  
  
“Undreamed is torture like abiding…” xe murmured, reciting the words of Durin, long ago.  
  
_Ba-bump._  
  
_Ba-bump._  
  
_Ba-bump._  
  
_Ba-bump._  
  
_Ba-_


	8. Gês’af – Mahd-danakh – Gêmgum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel sings, and some other things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed your intermission. 
> 
> Also, Tauriel!

Tauriel sat in the bough of an elm tree, knees pressed up against her chest. She twisted a bead around a braid. Kíli had put it there, six months ago. Waters lapped at the edge of a small lake. Above her, the stars wheeled. It had been six months since she left her home, and her grief was still sharp.   
  
The moon had long since set, and Tauriel mused on mortality. What was it like to die?  
  
She had no desire to sail West: Arda rooted her too strongly, perhaps. But still, she felt her heart cracking. Kíli was gone from this world. She did not even have the benefit of Lúthien’s choice, to follow her beyond the circles of the world—dwarfs did not have the Gift of Men. In the brief season they shared, she had fallen for Kíli as the rain falls from the heavens.   
  
And now she was lost; gone forever from Tauriel’s reach. The traditional words of mourning, sung to the stars, would not be appropriate here. What would a dwarf soul care for Manwë or Varda, why would Kíli go to Valinor? Still, she should do _something_ for her lost love.   
  
Then she remembered a song that seemed right: surely a dwarf would understand the sentiment of it, even if it wasn’t a song about mountains.   
  
_Dorthad ben escal en hîr_  
 _Cuia vi daedeid ancuil_  
 _Pedna hîr, “Le escalen,_  
 _Gonden han estel.”_  
  
Beside her, something flickered. Kíli was there, but didn’t look like she remembered. This was not the dwarf who fell in the Battle; this Kíli was dressed as a Princess of Erebor. A pregnant Princess of Erebor, no less—she was swollen like a full moon.   
  
“Kíli?” she whispered.  
  
“Hello, love,” Kíli said. “It’s good to see you again.”  
  
“You’re…you…did we…”  
  
Kíli laughed. “Yes, I’m pregnant. Meet Khali, Tauriel.”  
  
“Khali?”  
  
“A dwarfish name. It means wolf.”  
  
“This is a miracle. I thought you were dead, meleth, I thought you had died in the Battle.”  
  
“Oh, no wonder you left so soon! No, I was inside the mountain, helping rebuild.”  
  
“And getting pregnant, apparently.”  
  
“You definitely sired Khali, Thutrel.” Kíli grinned, her eyes squeezing nearly shut. Tauriel smiled as well, sorrow forgotten, and reached out to hold Kíli. Her hand passed through Kíli as though she wasn’t there.   
  
Kíli grew transparent. Tauriel could see the stars through Kíli’s shoulders.  
  
“Tauriel!” Kíli yelped. “Lu’, lu’, lu’!”  
  
“Kíli!” She reached out, but it was too late. Kíli was barely an outline. No sound came from her, although her mouth was moving.   
  
Then she was gone, and Tauriel was alone again. Kíli lived, yet far away, although she had never heard of a vision of a loved one who yet lived. Only when they were on the brink of death did such a vision appear. What sort of danger was Kíli in, that she would appear to Tauriel when she sang?   
  
When she _sang_ , of course, powerful elves could call visions through song! Kíli was close to death, at the edge of a knife blade, and Tauriel had sang, calling Kíli’s spirit to her. Granted, she had only heard of this with Noldorin or Sindarin elves, not Silvan, but the proof had been right in front of her.  
  
 _Ah E thel orthad am rovthoron_  
 _Grawd erin hwa o minuial_  
 _Carod ia sui Anor_  
 _Ah gard ben camlanndeid_  
 _Gwî ben faroth avagard_  
 _Ah lhîw thel tog úgosta_  
 _No rawdeid bandeg_  
 _Sadordeid thandeg_  
  
Kíli faded back into the world, more solid this time. Tauriel reached out and tried to touch her, but stopped just a hair before making contact.   
  
“How?” Tauriel asked, voice hoarse. “You survived the Battle, didn’t you? But then how did I call you to me like this?”  
  
“Amralimé,” Kíli said, “I love you, but you’re kind of an idiot. Of course I survived the Battle. I broke my arm, but that was the worst of my injuries. I was assassinated, actually. Or at least, I think I was. A servant came into my rooms and tried to poison me. We fought, and the servant managed to hit my arm with a poisoned knife.”  
  
“Poison!” Tauriel yelped. “Oh, Edegil, tell me you’re all right!”  
  
“Well, I’m not actually certain of that. Considering I’m here, and all, and not in my body. Speaking of which, do you know why I’m here?”  
  
“I, um, I accidentally called your spirit to me.”  
  
“How do you _accidentally_ call a spirit?”  
  
“I wasn’t exactly _trying_ to summon you, if you hadn’t been close to death it wouldn’t have worked at all. My singing just inadvertently pulled your feä from your dying body and brought you to me.”  
  
Kíli, who had been lounging on a branch of the tree, bolted upright, horrified. “You pulled my spirit from my body?”  
  
“I didn’t mean to.” Tauriel scowled.   
  
“Oh Mahal, Thutrel! It’s okay, I was just startled. Besides, it’s probably better that I’m out here rather than in my body anyway!” She forced a smile. “You know, considering it was poisoned and all.”  
  
They sat in companionable silence for a while, watching the stars turn overhead.   
  
“Tauriel?”  
  
“Yes, meleth?”  
  
“Where are we?”  
  
“I’m not sure. After Thranduil banished me, I went East, but I’m not sure where we are now. Other than here, of course.”  
  
They sat for a while longer before Kíli spoke again.  
  
“Did you know there are Elvish pirates from the Grey Havens?”  
  
“There are _what_?”  
  
Kíli laughed. “Pirates! Or at least that’s what we called them, back in Khagal’abbad. Really they were merchants and explorers.”  
  
“I thought the only ships leaving Mithlond went West, to Valinor.”  
  
“Nah. Most of them go west, but that’s just because they’re a port on the western shore. A lot of them go south, for trading. We used to follow the sailors around sometimes, when our parents were off hunting or on trading missions.”  
  
“Wow. Your life is so colorful, most of mine has just been patrols and spiders. I’m six hundred years old, but the first time I’ve left my homeland was six months ago. I know every bough in Mirkwood, but nothing about other elves. You’ve been all over Arda, you’re a princess, and I’m…I’m just a guard who’s never left home before.”  
  
“It’s okay, Tauriel. You could come to Khagal’abbad with me. Amad’s Uzbad, and she’s naming me Rayad. You should come with me when I go back! Amad and Adad will love you, I’m sure, and you could see the Grey Havens and Rivendell and everything.”  
  
“Wait. I lost you. Who’s what and naming you what? And where is this, anyway?”  
  
“Ah. Sorry, I forgot you don’t speak Khuzdul. Khagal’abbad is my hometown, in the Blue Mountains. Mom’s the leader, and I’m her heir.”  
  
“Isn’t Fíli older than you? Shouldn’t xe be the heir?”  
  
“It’s complicated—whoa!”  
  
“Kíli!”  
  
Everything went dark.  
  
Slowly but surely, Kíli awoke. She was no longer in her bedchambers, but in a small, dark room with a single candle. Beside her, Fíli slept, head pillowed on xir arms and a blanket draped over xir shoulders.   
  
Kíli smiled and stroked her sibling’s golden hair, playing with xir braids. After a moment’s thought, she undid the braids and placed the clasps on the table beside her bed. Fíli would thank her later, she decided.   
  
She rested a hand gently on her stomach. Khali kicked, making her laugh a little. Everything felt right in the world, like a servant hadn’t just tried to murder her for having a half-elvish baby.  
  
She felt a twinge in her left arm, and glanced at it. A thick white bandage was wrapped around it, but otherwise there was no sign of the injury.

 Fíli stirred. She glanced over at her older sibling, who was slowly coming out of sleep. Xe squeezed her hand idly and she squeezed back.   
  
Xe jerked awake.  
  
“Kíli?”  
  
“Good morning, Fíli,” she said, cheerfully. “Or—actually, what time is it?”  
  
Fíli leapt forward and hugged her tightly. Xir shoulders shook, and hot tears fell on her bare neck.  
  
“I thought you were dead,” xe whispered, voice hoarse. “I thought you were dead. I couldn’t feel your pulse.”  
  
“I’m here. I’m safe. It’s okay.”   
  
“You’ve slept for nearly a week, Kee. Please _never_ scare me like that again.” Xe pulled away. “You’re probably hungry—”  
  
“Actually, I’m not, really. Which is strange, but I’m okay with it.”  
  
“What…happened, while you were out?”  
  
“Honestly, I’m not sure. There were a lot of trees, and a lake, and stars. There were a lot of stars.”  
  
“That’s strange.”  
  
“Ins Mahal taglibi luknu,” Kíli agreed. She had a sudden flash of courage. “Erm…about what Sunniva said?”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“It’s true.” Kíli looked away, drawing into herself. “Tauriel’s the sire. I…I should have told you, but I was too afraid to. Sunniva was right. I’m not a dwarf.”  
  
“What are you _talking_ about? Sunniva’s a traitor. What does a traitor know about being a dwarf? Did you really think we would cast you out of the Mountain just because you slept with an elf?” There was hurt in Fíli’s voice. It felt like a gut punch.   
  
“No, but—I was _scared_ , Fee. Please, don’t tell Thorin?”  
  
“I won’t. Hey, remember when you dared me to slide down a hill on Amad’s plate?”  
  
“Did not!” Kíli replied on instinct. Fíli sniffed.   
  
“Did too,” xe said with a watery smile. “I’m glad you’re okay.”  
  
“Fíli?” Thorin called from the doorway. “Are—Kíli!”  
  
“Hello, Aunt Thorin!”  
  
“It’s good to see you awake. We were worried.”  
  
“Fíli told me. But I’m feeling much better now, really.”  
  
“Sunniva’s dead, by the way.”  
  
“What? There’s no way a trial and execution could happen in a week! And wasn’t it waiting for Kíli to wake up anyway?”  
  
“It was.” Thorin scowled. “Sunniva escaped from prison and went into an unstable area of the mountain. There was a rockslide. Nobody else was hurt, luckily, but Sunniva’s dead.”  
  
“Well, that’s convenient.”  
  
“Extremely.” Thorin scowled. “Nori and Bofur examined the rock. For all that it was unstable, it couldn’t have collapsed by itself. Someone triggered that collapse. All we know is that Sunniva isn’t acting alone. There are others—likely in the Mountain—that are a part of this conspiracy.”  
  
Kíli felt her head spin, and she leaned back, resting her head against the pillows.   
  
“Have we found anyone else that could be part of it?”  
  
“Not a sign. Kíli, you had a servant that you trusted?”  
  
“Annavi. Sunniva said they were ill, is that true?”  
  
“I’ll ask Balin to check. If they are innocent, I’ll make sure they stay with you until you go into seclusion. Speaking of which…”  
  
“No! It’s way too early for me to do that! I have a few more months, at least!”  
  
Thorin held up a hand, and Kíli fell silent. “With everyone coming in, it’s probably for the best that you stay in the royal quarters or with bodyguards. We’ll double the security around you. If there are forces moving against us, we must be careful. Nori will vet everyone assigned to you, and make sure we can trust them with your life. You will never be unarmed, and we’re not letting you alone with anyone for long. We’ve gotten sloppy with the few people we had before now. With everyone coming in, it’s a nightmare for security and for logistics. You won’t be in seclusion, Kíli, not yet. I agree, it’s too early. But we will be under careful guard. We can’t let this happen again.”  
  
“I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand,” she said. Fíli squeezed her hand. “Now help me up, I want to change. Have I been in these clothes for a week?”  
  
“No,” Fíli said. “We had to change your clothes and sheets or you would have gotten infected.”  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“Your wound was poisoned, namadith. Anything could have happened. We were careful, but we really didn’t want you getting an infection.”  
  
“Also, it got Fíli out of this room.”  
  
“Thorin!”  
  
“Xe’s been by your side for the past week without a break,” she said humorlessly. “I had to haul xir out of the room by xir braids.”  
  
Kíli laughed. For a moment, everything seemed alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, come on, am I really the sort of person who would just kill off Kíli?
> 
> \- The song Tauriel sings is "On Eagles Wings," a Catholic hymn, translated into Sindarin by yours truly. You can find the full version at http://barukvanja.tumblr.com/post/111962163590/
> 
> \- The spirit-appears-while-singing thing is mostly headcanon based off of Luthien's exploits in getting out of Doriath and fighting Morgoth. My theory is that singing can mess with the fabric of reality itself: according to the Silmarillion, the universe was created through song, therefore, singing can alter it.
> 
> \- Removing clothes around a poisoning prevents the wound from being re-poisoned.
> 
> \- I have given a lot of thought to exactly why Fíli isn't the heir, and it basically boils down to "Fíli is biologically, but not legally, Dís's child."
> 
> \- I am a very boring nerd.


	9. Hadêd’af – Kalm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broken plates and other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on my enigmatic summaries and descriptions

In her seventh month, Kíli began to prepare for the birth. It wouldn’t come for another two months, but time flew. She had received a flood of gifts, from a small wooden sword (Fíli) to a cradle (Adad, delivered by disgruntled ravens) to a very soft knitted blanket (Dori) and a ragdoll (proudly presented to her by a small dwarfling). All of them had been searched, but all of them were clean. It seemed that whoever had been behind Sunniva was laying low.   
  
Of course, like all good things, she really should have known it wouldn’t last.   
  
It started with Nori running, full tilt, into a council meeting. Nori running or entering council meetings was never a good sign, considering he hated doing either. His boots skidded on the solid stone floors, wisps of hair escaping from his braids.  
  
He managed to catch his breath by the time he reached Thorin, whispering something into her ear. Thorin stood up suddenly.  
  
“Everyone who isn’t a member of Gemsasekh, leave.” There were mutterings as everyone except the Company left. As soon as the heavy door slid back into place, Thorin declared: “Nori has found some of the conspirators.”  
  
There were assorted cheers.  
  
“They’ve been detained and are in the dungeons,” Nori reported. “I’ve questioned them myself, they’re definitely behind it. They’re Ironfists, no doubt about it, and they claim that they know the sire to be an elf.”  
  
“Do they have any proof?” Glóin called.   
  
“They _claim_ that the sire is a red-haired elf that went east after the battle. Thy also _claim_ that she wore beads of Erebor in her hair, and that she told them she had married Kíli.”  
  
Thorin glowered. Kíli shivered and wrapped an arm around Khali. Fíli did the same for her.   
  
“Thorin,” Balin said gently, “We can ill afford a war right now. Let alone with Ironfists.”  
  
“I know, Balin, I know. For now, we must defend ourselves. Nori, I want you to find every member of that conspiracy if you have to go over Erebor with a fine-toothed comb.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” Nori gave a fake salute.   
  
“Kíli, you go nowhere alone. Fíli, stay with her. Everyone else, keep careful watch. Until the babe is born, we can take no chances. Dismissed.”  
  
Once everyone was in the corridors, Fíli pulled Kíli into a storage closet and locked the door.   
  
“Could this be Tauriel’s fault? You heard what Nori said—”  
  
“Tauriel couldn’t have known what would happen, but everything she said was true. In the eyes of elves, we’re wed, and I gave her beads and braids before the battle. She went east afterwards; it’s possible she found some Ironfist and told them what happened and they decided to kill me.”  
  
“Does she know?”  
  
“Yes. We’ve written to each other ever since I got poisoned. She’s traveling west now. I can ask her about the Ironfist, see if she met any.”  
  
Fíli shivered and wrapped xir arms around her. “I’m worried about you, Kee.”  
  
“I’ll be fine.”  
  
“But what if I can’t keep you safe? What if you miscarry, or Khali’s stillborn, or you die in childbirth, or the Ironfists find a weak spot to exploit and hurt you?”  
  
“Fíli. Look at me. I have an entire mountain to defend me, it’s not just on you. At this point, I’m probably not going to miscarry. If one of us dies during the birth, you’ll be there for whichever one of us survives. Stop _worrying_ , Fee. Everything will be fine.”  
  
“A month ago, I wasn’t sure if you would wake. I can’t _not_ worry, Kee.”  
  
“Wait two more, and you’ll get a nibling.” Kíli gave a shaky grin. “I’m okay, Fee, I really am. I’ll go into seclusion next month, and I’ll be safe there. It’s just a month. Stop worrying.”  
  
“Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real Kíli?”  
  
“Ha ha _ha_ , Fíli, you’re hilarious. Seclusion is the safest place I can be right now. And believe it or not, I don’t really want to go shooting or anything right now. My balance is all off. Can we leave the closet yet?”  
  
“Yes. We can.” Xe opened the door with an over-dramatic bow. “After you, Princess Kíli.”  
  
“Why thank you, Princen Fíli.” She swept out of the closet with a flourish, followed by Fíli, both of them giggling like children.  
  
“I want to give you something I found in the treasury,” Fíli said.  
  
“Not _another_ gift! I’m running out of room!”  
  
“Well, this one isn’t for you.” Xe pulled out a necklace and displayed it to Kíli. It was a pendant on a thin mithril chain, with three leaf-shaped diamonds arranged into a trefoil, and a polished onyx stone hanging beneath it. “It’s for—” xe glanced around at the deserted hallway and dropped xir voice, “The sire.”  
  
“It’s beautiful, Fee.”  
  
“I thought so too. And I thought she would like it, so this is an early wedding present.”  
  
“We’re not getting married, Fee.”  
  
“In the eyes of elves you already are. Besides, Amad sent me a letter telling me to welcome the sire into the family. Although _she_ used considerably more words and threatened to disown me.”  
  
“You’d deserve it.”  
  
“How could you say such a thing? To your own sibling, no less. I am offended, Kíli, offended. Oh, Mahal save me from the fickleness of dams!” Fíli put a hand on xir forehead, pretending to swoon.   
  
“You’re a disgrace, Fíli. A disgrace.”  
  
“ _You’re_ the disgrace!”  
  
“I really hope you have a better comeback before Thorin sends you on diplomatic missions.”  
  
“How about ‘I’m petitioning Thorin to put you in seclusion early?’ Does that meet your standards?”  
  
“Better, but you wouldn’t and Thorin won’t listen to you anyway.”  
  
“Yes she would.”  
  
“No she wouldn’t.”  
  
“Yes she would.”  
  
“No she wouldn’t.”  
  
“Yes she would.”  
  
“Yes she would.”  
  
“No she wouldn’t—damn you, Kíli!”  
  
“It has been long in coming, but after seventy eight years, I finally get my revenge and it—” Fíli covered her mouth with one hand. Childishly, she licked it and Fíli’s face scrunched up. Xe pulled it away, wiping her spit off onto her tunic.   
  
“Eww,” xe complained. “Why do you do that?”  
  
“You’re the one who covered my mouth like a fifteen year old.”  
  
“Yeah, well, you don’t have to lick it!”  
  
A shadow moved behind Fíli. Something glinted in the torchlight.  
  
“Fíli, look out!” Kíli shouted. Fíli spun around and found nothing but an empty corridor.  
  
“Nothing,” Fíli confirmed. “Kíli, what did you see?”  
  
“There was something moving, some metal flashing. I’m probably just overly paranoid, it’s nothing.”  
  
“It’s okay, Kee. You’re stressed, that’s all. I won’t hold it against you.”  
  
Kíl rubbed her bump. “I think I need more sleep, really, but Khali’s been so active lately that it’s hard for me to get any sleep at all. Maybe Annavi knows some kind of tea that will calm them down.”  
  
Fíli scowled.  
  
“Oh, what’s with you?”  
  
“We don’t know anything about this Annavi of yours, but you rely on them for practically _everything_ these days. For all we know, Annavi could be in on the plan.”  
  
“They’re not, Fíli, Dáin’s vouched for them and you know how he is. He doesn’t trust easily. Besides, the only people who know the truth are me and you and—and the sire. Nobody else.”  
  
“I still don’t like it.”  
  
“You don’t have to, Fíli. But I’ll ask Dori first, if it makes you feel better.”  
  
“Thanks, Kee. I trust you—though not with anything breakable—”  
  
“When have I ever broken something?”  
  
“Two words: Amad’s plates.”  
  
“That was your fault.”  
  
“You dared me!”  
  
“No I didn’t.”  
  
“Whatever. I don’t trust Annavi, that’s all.”  
  
“I don’t break things.”  
  
“You broke that poor elf girl’s heart, back in Khagal’abbad.”  
  
“Which poor elf girl?”  
  
“The one who asked if you were an elf adopted by dwarfs. Wait, what do you mean which elf girl?”  
  
“What, her? First of all, she asked if I was really a dwarf, and second of all, I was twenty.”  
  
“And you broke her heart right in two.”  
  
“She wanted to kidnap me and take me to the Grey Havens, Fíli.”  
  
“We’re getting off topic. You’ve broken multiple elf girls’ hearts?”  
  
Kíli’s face flamed. “It’s not like I slept with them or anything. It just, you know, got us better prices if I flirted a little. A lot.”  
  
“Kíli! Does Amad know you flirted with elves to get better deals?”  
  
“No, but Adad does. He was the one who showed me how to do it, actually.”  
  
Fíli made a face. “I did not need to know that.”  
  
Kíli patted the top of xir head. “There, there. You’ll get over it.”  
  
“I am traumatized and when I can’t look Adad in the eye it will all be your fault. What were we talking about before this?”  
  
“You don’t trust me with anything breakable?” Kíli prompted.  
  
“Right. I trust you, but not Annavi. Nothing personal. Just…well, I don’t want to wonder if you’re going to wake up ever again, you hear me?”  
  
“I hear you. I’ll try not to get poisoned for a while, how’s that?”  
  
“Fair enough. But really, you break things all the time.”  
  
They walked back to Kíli’s room, playfully bickering over broken plates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This monster is nearly done. Show of hands, who wants side stories?


	10. Gimôn’af – Gargablâg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiny things and boredom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for the wait. :) (Fair warning: This chapter is mostly me using lots and lots of adjectives. Descriptions no plot.)

The room chosen to be Kíli’s during her seclusion was big enough to hold her, a bed, three chairs, the assorted luck symbols, and two other dwarfs. It was a bit outside the palace proper, in a corner of Erebor that Smaug had left untouched. Aside from a thick layer of dust, it was entirely intact once the Mountain was reclaimed.   
  
All told, it was a large room—deep in the heart of the mountain, windowless and dark save for the candles and fireplace. This was where her mother was born, where Thorin was born, where her grandfather was born. And it was where Khali would be born, in just over a month.  
  
The room was truly fit for royalty. The thick furs on her bed weren’t exactly necessary yet, but by the time Khali arrived she would want them. Besides, they were probably the softest things Kíli had ever felt. Then there was the magpie’s nest of jewelry heaped in piles—all chosen for their calming properties, as well as to show off the wealth of Erebor. Agate and aquamarine, garnet, jade and jasper, ruby, even tanzanite from the south were in the piles, set into necklaces or cuffs, rings or clasps, or just loose. Some was cut and some was uncut, but all of it was polished to a shine. Wrought iron hung above the doorway, gold, silver, and mithril chains decorated the bedposts. Everywhere she looked, there was something shining, something sparkling. In another corner were soft blankets and clothes for Khali. The pendant Fíli had given her for Tauriel was buried in the pile of jewelry for safekeeping.   
  
On the walls were mosaics of Durin’s awakening under Mount Gundabad. The seclusion chambers were partially to simulate the chambers under the seven sacred mountains, and partially to keep bearers safe during some of the most risky parts of the pregnancy. Nobody was allowed into a seclusion chamber after the bearer arrived, save for the midwife and one servant, and once she entered, she wasn’t allowed out until at least a week after the birth. Usually people stayed inside for a full _month_ after the birth, although some visitors were allowed after the first week. The risk of infection had generally passed at that point, and the seclusion then was purely by choice.  
  
The fireplace was fully stocked; the stone around it was carved so that it looked like a raven with its wings spread in flight. She had seen the schematics: the smoke would escape through the beak and the tips of the wings before rejoining into the main chimney, and from there into the smoke room and out of the mountain.  
  
Kíli took a deep breath and walked inside, the door closing behind her. She had said her farewells to her family and the Company, however temporary they might be, and prepared for a month of relative imprisonment.  
  
Honestly, it was nothing compared to Mirkwood’s prisons, although she didn’t have a pretty elvish guard to fall in love with. She had rich meals whenever she wanted them, soft, luxurious furs to relax on, and pretty jewelry to look at. She even had some small tools and spare jewels to tinker with. She had started making plans for a delicate hairpiece, with lots of thin chains holding up cut gems. She had a handful of books, chosen for her by Ori, parchment, quills, and ink, even a hand loom to weave something on, and as soon as the door closed behind her, she wanted to leave.   
  
It was maddening, truly, how much she had ensured she wouldn’t be bored during the seclusion—the books were right there, ready for her to pick up and begin reading, she had parchment and ink to write letters, she could weave or craft anything she wanted to—the only thing she was really deprived of, aside from new conversation partners, was the ability to wander Erebor. The plans she had made seemed boring, and her interest flitted from one thing to another, never accomplishing anything. She picked up a book, read the first page, stared blankly at it for a minute, then setting it down and absent-mindedly picking up another book. She put that down too, and walked around the room. She picked up the loom, and started to weave something, before staring at it blankly and setting _that_ down as well. She glanced at the hourglass, and began to calculate how long she would be in here.   
  
It was going to be a long month.   
  
How had Adad done this, not once but twice? And from what he had told her in his letters, he had stayed in seclusion for a month after both of their births. How had he not gotten bored with staring at the same four walls for two months? Kíli hadn’t even been here for an hour, and she already wanted out.  
  
She picked up the first of her tools and consulted her sketches. Work had always been a good way to get her mind off of things. The first wire twisted here, and then the first gem could be hooked on in the loop that was created. The next wire would drape from here to there, the delicate thread of metal looking almost like cloth thread as she shaped it to fit. This part would curve around the back of the head and neck, supporting the weight of the jewels without compromising the look of the piece.   
  
The skeleton was nearly done before Kíli looked up and discovered that over two hours had passed without her realizing it. She stared in on the chains, now, pleased that the skeleton was sturdy enough to keep its shape as she threaded the small loops onto their fixtures. This was the delicate part, where one wrong move could mess up the structural integrity. After she had the chains attached, it could survive a drop down the Endless Stair, but before then she had to be careful.   
  
Finally, though, she had the last of the chains attached and could really start with the gems.   
  
The fire flickered and started to die. When she looked up, she realized she had spent nearly half of a day making this. She held it critically up to the fading light. The gold gleamed in the light.   
  
“Beautiful,” she breathed. The fire truly died then, and she prepared for sleep. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to spend a while in here. The solitude made it easier to focus.  
  
Khali woke up just as Kíli relaxed on the furs and made her presence known, kicking out and making Kíli start.  
  
“No, Khali, Amad’s trying to sleep,” she said, rubbing where she had felt the tiny foot. “Stop kicking, it’s bedtime for little dwarflings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? (What?) There's going to be a sequel, so stay tuned! I really hope you're not all bored with me by now.


	11. Tagêr’af – Galkhabsât

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New beginnings

Fíli paced outside the room while Kíli screamed. Xe knew there wasn’t anything xe could do until well after the birth, but the worry was coiling in xir chest nevertheless. Kíli would be fine, she had to be.  
  
Meanwhile, inside the room, Kíli was fairly certain she was going to get torn in half. She was seated in a birthing chair, Óin rubbing unidentified paste on her skin, and Annavi preparing warm water and painkillers. A pile of towels and blankets teetered on the edge of a low table. Her legs were spread out across the chair’s opening, and none of the reassurance Annavi was spouting was helpful.  
  
Sweat beaded on her forehead, and a warm cloth swiped it off.  
  
“You’re doing great, Kíli,” Annavi reassured her, “You’re almost there, just push a little more.”  
  
“Easy—” she gasped, “Easy for you to say.” Something came loose, and in the haze of painkillers, she felt something shift.  
  
“Your dilation is good,” Óin declared. “It won’t be long now.”  
  
“See, you’re doing just fine.”  
  
Kíli screamed. Between her legs, Óin grumbled prayers in Khuzdul.  
  
“It’s breech. Put her under. Now,” they ordered. Annavi poured some liquid into her mouth and she swallowed reflexively. It was bitter and left her mouth feeling dead. Her eyes felt heavy. Óin was doing something, but she couldn’t see what, and then everything went dark.  
  
-  
  
When she blinked herself back into consciousness, she was still in the chair. Nothing had changed, other than new candles. The contractions were still going, ripping through her each time with more force. The paste Óin had smeared on her was gone, but they were still busy between her legs.  
  
“You’re doing great, Kíli. Their head and shoulders are out already. Here,” Annavi put a cloth ball in her hand, “Squeeze on that when you need to, or you’ll damage your hands. But you’re nearly done, you were out for the most difficult part.”  
  
A particularly rough contraction ripped through her. She felt like she was being torn apart from the inside. “Mahal mahinsis mâ,” Kíli gasped. “Lu’, Mahal, ma ahlut nadané, lona, lona!”  
  
“Relax, Kíli, both of you will be fine. You’re almost done. Just a little bit more.” Annavi’s calloused hands rubbed out knots of tension in her shoulders. “There’s not nearly enough blood for anyone to be dying yet.”  
  
“And you would know?”  
  
“I was trained as a midwife for a while,” they said dismissively. “You’ll be just fine, as long as you stay clean you’ll both live for good long lives.”  
  
Kíli squeezed the ball so hard she could hear stitches popping, and resisted the urge to scream.  
  
A high, clear wail echoed inside the room.  
  
“You’re almost done, Kíli. Just a little bit more. The afterbirth shouldn’t take very long.” The pain didn’t seem to agree with Annavi’s assessment.  
  
Óin tied a knot in the cord connecting her to Khali, and cut it quickly.  
  
Something slimy slid out of Kíli and landed with a squish on the stone floor.  
  
“That’s the placenta,” Annavi said. “It’ll all be over soon enough.” They wiped her brow with a warm, wet cloth, and then her shoulders and chest.  
  
“Khali—I heard Khali, where are they?” If she wasn’t utterly exhausted, she would struggle to find them. Khali wailed again.  
  
“Óin’s washing them off, Kíli, you’ll get them in a moment.” Practiced hands kneaded her flesh, relaxing the muscles from the birthing. “You did great, Kíli.”  
  
Óin handed a bundle to Kíli. She lifted a corner of the blanket, and saw Khali for the first time. They were wrinkly and dark pink, eyes squeezed shut and wailing in protest. A single tuft of dark red hair hung wetly on their forehead. Their ears swept up into points, but Kíli didn’t have the energy to worry about that for a while.  
  
“Hello, little wolf,” she said, and helped Khali arrange themself on her breast. They cried a little more as she tried to get the nipple into their toothless mouth and inadvertently poked them in the face. After a few tries, Khali managed to suck a little on her nipple—and spilled milk everywhere.  
  
Annavi giggled.  
  
“Khali,” Kíli explained, “You need to _drink_ it, not spill it all over your face.” She guided Khali back to her breast, making sure Khali had a firm grip before they started sucking.  
  
“I’ll let Fíli know xe can stop pacing.” Óin put a hand on her shoulder. “You did good.”  
  
“They’re so tiny,” Kíli breathed, completely ignoring Óin. “So delicate.” With one hand, she traced along the side of Khali’s scrunched up face.  
  
“There’s a warm bath waiting for you, if you’d like.”  
  
“Thank you, Annavi, I mean it. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, let me know.”  
  
“Well, for now you can take a bath and get the blood off. Would you like me to help you stand?”  
  
“Yes, please.” Annavi wrapped an arm underneath Kíli’s shoulders, lifting her to her feet with ease. She wobbled a bit, and held Khali closer, but got her feet under her and made her way to the metal tub full of warm water.  
  
She eased her way into it, and felt her muscles relax on contact with the water. Everything was sore and aching. Khali didn’t let go of her breast, but she really only needed one hand to get the blood off.  
  
On the other hand, a long soak sounded amazing. Khali was occupied with feeding, and she knew that she wouldn’t have a chance like this for a while. Her eyes slipped closed as she held Khali tighter, reveling in the feeling of a tiny heartbeat.  
  
“Nur’agani,” she whispered. “Our new beginning, the first birth in Erebor.”  
  
Khali, apparently full, stopped sucking and let Kíli’s breast fall from their mouth. They gurgled a little, and Kíli very carefully put them in the water of the tub. Khali immediately started to wriggle, curling up into a ball around Kíli’s hands with only their head out of water.  
  
Carefully, ready to catch them if anything went wrong, she let go. Khali wobbled, and went under. Kíli lifted them out of the water before Khali even had time to protest at being unable to breathe.  
  
She held Khali out of the water with one hand, using the other to wash herself. Blood had congealed on her legs and stomach, and left Kíli sticky and gross. Surprisingly, it came off fairly easily. She suspected that Óin had done some of the work.  
  
Khali made a happy-sounding noise while they sucked on a tangle of Kíli’s hair. At the very least, they had figured out how to suck. Kíli fished the tangle out of their mouth.  
  
“Hair is not for sucking, Khali,” she scolded. “You can’t be hungry again, you just ate. Silly pebble.” The happy noises continued. “Well, at least you aren’t crying. Come on, it’s bedtime for little dwarflings.”  
  
She left the tub, putting Khali on a low table while she dried off. Khali fell asleep quickly, as though they knew it was time for it.  
  
All was well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …and I'm done. Just kidding! There's going to be a sequel, in which things get sorted out, and also other things. see you later!
> 
> Thanks to AngstyChaosMagicUser for catching a few pronoun slips!


End file.
